your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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