perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
