so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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