Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
