Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
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