i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
