Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Randomize
