and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
