everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
