even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I want a musical about memes.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
