I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Randomize
