We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
