I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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