I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I could fuck to npr.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Randomize
