there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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