Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
