I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
