You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
