Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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