the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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