Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
