i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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