office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
