the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
