what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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