Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
