If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
