if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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