My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
