If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
