I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize
