They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
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