TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
