Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
