I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
