He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize