party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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