just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
