Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
