youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
