She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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