i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
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