i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
