I cockslap morals
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
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