You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
