Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
