wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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