Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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