I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
