My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I am naked and annoyed.
Randomize
