Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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