So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
