If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
