this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
