Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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