Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
