He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
