Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
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