Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
