Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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